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Obama Supporter Couples Therapy Lesson #1:How To Fake An Economic Recovery Orgasm September 8, 2009

obama too bigGood Morning and welcome to Dr. Afrocity’s couples therapy session for Obama supporters. I see you are alone today which is unfortunate because couples therapy always works better when both parties are emotionally invested in the relationship.

What was that?

You say your partner cannot attend couples therapy sessions with you because he is far too busy with his job as President of the United States?

My, my, my what a big job your partner has. I know that you are supportive of his position, after all YOU did elect him for it.

You thought he was the right man for the job and there was no chance of persuading you to think otherwise but let’s not obsess over the minor details of things we cannot CHANGE (wink).

Well, you know what they say, there is no sense in crying  racism over spilled Kool Aid. The reality of your situation is that you are here today alone in Obama supporters couples therapy and your partner is MIA so let’s focus on you and your happiness.

(Dr. Afrocity takes out writing pad)

As clearly as possible tell me what exactly is troubling you about your relationship with President Barack Oabma? Oh,  honey don’t cry your glitter eyeliner is running down your face.

(hands patient a box of Kleenex)

Here lie down on the sofa. You are shaking like a leaf. Are you cold?

(Patient nods head)

Well so much for global warming huh? Let me get you this nice warm red blanket….We will just put this around your shoulders. Oh dear your back is covered with donkey hoof prints…Did he do this to you honey? what is wrong with him?

From Contra Obama.Com

From Contra Obama.Com

(Patient puts head down)

Hmmm, it is obvious that you have been stepped on by a jackass. You know that right?

(Patient nods)

Are you sure that you want to continue with this relationship.

(Patient nods)

You say this crisis gives the two of you the opportunity to grow as a couple? (Dr. Afrocity rolls eyes) Okay, princess it’s your money your time. Tell me what’s wrong…

(Dr. Afrocity poised to write notes on pad) …He  promised to stimulate you economically but lately he has not kept his promise to you and you have resorted to economically stimulating yourself?

(Patient nods)

That is a serious problem my dear… He showed you his big recovery package, it impressed you at first. It was big, the biggest you had ever seen…You tingled at the thought of unraveling its mysteries…But turns out it was a big impotent nothing and now you are economically unstimulated and you are faking it…Going through the motions of a fake economic recovery orgasm is never easy.

(Patient blowing nose in Kleenex, crying uncontrollably)

(Dr. Afrocity puts on H1N1 protective mask)

You are so lucky to have found me (smiles). You have certainly come to the right place. First, lets take a look at the right way to fake an economic recovery orgasm. I found this great article that may be of help, it even bashes a Republican so as an Obama supporter I am sure you will love it:

From Mother Jones Magazine:

Michael Steele, Here’s a Newspaper Article You Should Read

— By David Corn | Fri September 4, 2009 12:06 PM PST

On slow news days—that is, when Dick Cheney or Sarah Palin haven’t said anything—there’s always GOP chairman Michael Steele.

He made website headlines earlier this week when he chastised a 23-year-old woman after she had interrupted him at a Howard University meeting to say that everyone in the country deserved access to good health care, citing the case of her own mother who recently died of cancer because she couldn’t afford chemo medications. Then on Friday, Steele looked particularly out of it within a Washington Post story on the stimulus and the economy.

The front-page article reported that “economists generally agree that the package has played a significant part in stabilizing the economy. They are less certain about the size of the impact.” The piece quoted a former assistant Treasury secretary from the Bush-Cheney administration, Phillip Swagel, who said President Obama’s stimulus package is “starting to play a role, helping us to have slightly positive rather than slightly negative GDP growth.” It cited IHS Global Insight, an economic consulting firm, which estimated the stimulus has added 1 percent to gross domestic product this year. Mark Zandi, chief economist of Economy.com and a former John McCain supporter, told the newspaper, “I don’t think it’s any accident that the economy has gone out of recession and into recovery at the same time stimulus is providing its maximum economic impact.”

So there’s a consensus: the stimulus package has produced results. Enter Steele. The article reported,
On Thursday, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele discounted the impact of the stimulus plan. “Vice President Biden has been trying for 200 days to convince the American people the president’s economic stimulus experiment is working, but just like their government-run health-care scheme, no one is buying it,” he said.


Obviously, Steele had not consulted with Zandi, Swagel, IHS Global Insight, or most economists. There are indeed questions an administration foe can raise about the stimulus. Has it been quick enough? Big enough? Targeted correctly? Is the bang worth the bucks? Only a hack with no regard for reality would insist that it has absolutely not worked and that no one believes it has had an impact. Yet that’s what Steele said, proving once again that he is a guy who’s hard to take seriously.

Now wasn’t that article liberally refreshing? If you are not feeling economically stimulated, you just fake it by refuting the evidence with counter evidence from liberally biased economist that are in your corner. In times of trouble you must take appropriate actions by calling for a backup of emotional support. Who cares if what they are saying to comfort you is right or wrong as long as it makes you feel good about your support for Barack Obama, right? Also if you slander a few Republicans along the way like Sarah Palin or Michael Steele that’s even better, now isn’t my jackass loving darling???

Image from radioactiveliberty.com

Image from radioactiveliberty.com

(Patient begins to beam)

There now, that’s the Obamabot we all know and love. I knew there was a smile beneath all of that doubt. Now go home, watch two hours of MSNBC and call me in the morning.

Autographed Letter Signed,
AFROCITY

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Saturday Toons: The Hope and Change All You Can’t Eat Buffet September 5, 2009

obama grannyHave you ever gone to an “all you can eat buffet” ?

If you have, more than likely you were met at the restaurant door by a beaming hostess willing to give you a nice clean white dinner plate and plastic tumbler for your iced tea.

A smorgasbord of nutritional wealth awaits you.

Depending upon the cuisine, you may have a hanker for those crab rangoons and pad thai chicken; you may go ga ga over the pancakes and sticky buns; graze at the salad offerings.

So many vertically aligned food choices, so little time. Gee this is fun, buffets with bottomless deficits are the stuff liberals are made of.

It is estimated that over 50 million people have passed through the Obama “hope and change” buffet.

Mouthing “Yes we Can” to themselves as they grab that white plate and wait in line for the refreshing leadership they so craved and deserved.  They were getting hungry out there in “Bush Country”. Life was so terrible out there.

With all of the romance of yesteryear’s Camelot, Obama’s supporters want that piece of the pie they were promised.  However, amid all the shining happy liberals holding hands there is a cloud hovering over the hope and change buffet.  Famous for not keeping his promises, President Barack Obama has remarkably made the meal selection process less painstaking.

Nothing truly appetizing lies in the stainless steel food chambers. I see some grease filmed cream of arugula soup, crusty vegetable medley casserole straight from Michelle Obama’s White House garden. The menu shows an abundance of crow. It is safe to assume that the food must be good, the flies seem to think so but why is everyone just standing here?  Suddenly press secretary Robert Gibbs voice is piped in through a loud speaker, interrupting a beautiful rendition of “At Last” by house speaker Nancy Pelosi.

“Ahem, idio- I mean people please walk, don’t run to the buffet. In response to the great demand on President Obama by corporate hacks and lobbyists that he said would have no part in his administration, there may be a few minor delays in the food getting out to you. For ease of selection you all will be getting served a whopping huge plate of nothing.”

Food is getting so low at the hope and change buffet that Obama supporters have resorted to cannibalism. A finger was bit off the hand of a conservative this week and savagely devoured by a rabid moonbat.

Food is getting so low at the hope and change buffet that Obama supporters have resorted to cannibalism. A finger was bit off the hand of a conservative this week and savagely devoured by a rabid moonbat. Image by Contra Obama.

Wow, a huge plate of nothing. Now there’s a palate pleaser. Certainly, the road to recovery will be long and hard for the millions crowded ’round the hope and change buffet.  I must say from the looks of complacency, they are all taking this pretty well. Come Oscar time, we are sure to see accolades delved out to the liberals for playing the “patience is a virtue, even tho’ it sucks”  role with such convincing authenticity.

Hey, someone better get Rosie some food she looks pretty hungry.

Hey, someone better get Rosie some food she looks pretty hungry.

From the Wall Street Journal:

The Jobless Stimulus

It’s still not too late to redirect $400 billion to business tax cuts.

SEPTEMBER 5, 2009

The recession may be over on Wall Street and Silicon Valley, but on Working Family Avenue it still has a ways to run. That’s the lesson of yesterday’s August jobs report that showed losses of 216,000, which believe it or not is the slowest monthly decline in a year and caused the White House to praise with the faint damn that the “trajectory is in the right direction.” That’s the good news.

On the other hand, the jobless rate popped up to 9.7%, the highest rate in 26 years, from 9.4%, reflecting an increase in the size of the labor force. The main concern we see going forward is the slow pace of new job creation to soak up the 7.4 million workers who have lost jobs since 2007.

There are now 26 million Americans who can’t find a full-time job. Average weekly hours remained at an abysmally low 33.1—which is putting a strain on family budgets. And the jobless rate including so-called discouraged workers, or those who have stopped looking, leapt to 16.8% from 16.3% in July. Meanwhile, the number of Americans working part-time who want full-time work increased by 278,000 to 9.1 million, which as a share of the workforce is larger than at any time since the recession of 1982. These are the workers that employers will tend to hire first as a recovery unfolds, so it is worrisome that this cohort remains so large.

None of this does much for the credibility of the Obama Administration’s stimulus spending plan, which was sold with the promise of a jobless rate this year of “below 8%” if the stimulus were passed. That was off by some three million jobs in a mere seven months. The same economists who fretted in February that $780 billion in stimulus was too small now claim that the $300 billion or so that has been spent has somehow ignited the recovery.

But a tax-cutting stimulus would have provided much more job and economic growth for the buck, and it could even now too. If the Administration really wants to fire up private job creation, how about taking the remaining $400 billion or more and using it to lower business taxes? The unspent stimulus is enough for a two-year down payment on repealing the U.S. corporate income tax, which studies show is a job and wage-increase killer.

Congress could also reconsider its July minimum-wage increase of 70 cents an hour, which almost certainly contributed to the leap in teenage unemployment to 25.5% in August. The rate was 24% in June and 23.8% in July, before the wage hike started to price low-skilled teens looking for jobs out of the workplace. Congress would be wise to suspend the increase until the overall jobless rate falls below 7%.

Of course neither of our proposals is going to happen given the current policy views in Washington, but someone has to speak up for workers who want a job, as opposed to those lucky enough to still have them.

Global Plate Warming buffet while Referencing the "Holy Goran" is a sure way to keep your mind off watching the door for the waiters to bring more food. Hey how did he get that tiurkey leg when you have nothing????

Global Plate Warming buffet while the legendary man bear pig, references the "Holy Goran" is a sure way to keep your mind off watching the door for the waiters to bring more food. Hey how did he get that turkey leg when you have nothing????

At the beginning, I knew that the hope and change buffet was a bunch of baloney. There was a huge amount of illusion going on in the Obama campaign. Illusion leads to disillusionment which hopefully leads to no reelection in 2012. This is a sensitive subject for Obama’s supporters. Afraid to admit they were taken in by the pied piper, they create distractions by charging racism. There is no racism at the hope and change buffet. None of you are being served. You can sit wherever you want, as long as you realize that all will equally get nothing in return for your support. Botch and whine stew is a perennial favorite among liberals. Your dear leader has seen to it that you have plenty of opportunities to enjoy your hoped cooked culinary concoction while pussyfooting around what really matters to you and your family at the same time. President Doubtfire will promise you an eclipse on Christmas day, but I doubt you will ever need to get out your safety glasses.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

 

Thursday Stitch n’ Bitch: Stars Should Be Seen And Not Heard July 16, 2009

Obama superstar Afrocity has been on the down low lately. I have to take my occasional breaks from the news and Obamatrons.  I recall my grandmother whispering that old saying in my ear, when I was being a bad girl usually because of my snarky mouth:

“Children should be seen and not heard”.

What does it mean exactly?

Children should be well behaved and not speak?

From opposite sides of the remote control, I decided on Tuesday night not to watch anything related to politics.  I would get back to my workout routine. Sweat pants on, iPod and bottled water in hand, I take the elevator to the gym.  Once in the room, there are two other men lifting weights and making guttural sounds. I hate working out in front of others but decided to stay when I saw that the MLB All Star Game was playing on two television sets.

I strapped my legs with the nylon and Velcro 2lbs weights, mounted the treadmill. If I walked through the 4th inning that shoudl be at least 200 calories burned. I would not have to feel guilty about the entire movie theatre sized box of Good & Plenty coated licorice candies I had consumed the day before, or the bowl of strawberry ice cream, or the pizza I had on Saturday.  Taking a a deep breath I set my speed to 4.0 and inclined the treadmill to a steep 4.5.   Although the benefits of working out are amazing, I HATE IT but my 40th birthday is approaching in a few weeks and I want to tone and lose about 5 lbs.  Damn my mother who gave me the thighs with cellulite that I have to  massage every night with Bliss’ “Fat Girl Slim” cream which contains caffeine and seaweed.  Okay I am depressed again, concentrate and watch the damn baseball game.  Nothing like a relaxing workout while watching a ballgame…Until I see Barack Obama’s face. What? @#&!@?  What is he doing on there? Can’t I watch a ballgame with seeing this man? Isn’t it enough that I have to see his face on every magazine in the checkout line? That his name crops into every conversation I have, even with my gynecologist? ARGH.

obama_era Obama is really not our president, he is a rock star. The Obamabots who voted for him fail to admit that his administration is faltering. They don’t care. They just LOVE Barack Obama. Who cares that America is going to hell.

Dick Morris had an interesting column the other day. I know, I know many of my readers do not like Dick Morris because of the things he said about Hillary Clinton but I have to admit that when it comes to Barack Obama, this Dick makes a lot of sense.

The Hill

Obama’s shifty economics

by Dick Morris

July 14, 2009

Now President Obama says in The Washington Post that he never envisioned that his stimulus package would afford quick relief to the American economy, but would do so only after it had run its two-year course. But when it was passed, Obama sang a different tune, urgently demanding its enactment to speed relief to a sagging economy. He claimed it would “create or save” 600,000 jobs. Now, even as the economy loses 450,000 jobs each month, he pretends that it is a matter of time until the stimulus kicks in.

He now justifies the stimulus package by saying it was adopted to prevent the “collapse” of the economy and the banking systems. But it was really the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), first passed under President Bush, that stopped the banks from going under. At the time of the enactment of the stimulus package, Obama never mentioned that he was counting on it to save the banks

All these shifting justifications are designed to explain why the stimulus package has totally failed to accomplish anything. Not only has it done no good. It has done significant harm by ballooning the deficit, driving up interest rates, creating doubts about the U.S. currency and fanning inflationary fears.

But Obama has paid and will continue to pay dearly for betting on his stimulus package. Because of it, the Bush recession is becoming the Obama recession much faster than it would have had he adopted a more gradual approach to solving economic problems. By jumping in immediately, as he did, in order to increase government spending and pass eight years of Democratic dreams in one day, he made the public expect a solution…

Finally, Obama has laid a trap for himself. Just as the economy is coming out of its recession — in 2010 and 2011 — and he begins to run for reelection, he is going to face massive inflation. The money supply has more than tripled since October of 2008 and is going up each week as the Fed buys Treasury bills and other securities to “monetize the debt” (i.e., give other people money so they can lend it back to the government and charge it interest for doing so). With each new infusion of cash, the problem of avoiding inflation becomes particularly severe. Obama could well lose the elections of 2012 because of the inflation his deficit has created.

I hope that Mr. Morris is correct.  Yes, that is cruel of me to say but I want a president that actually does work.  Stars should be seen on the red carpet, not the oval office. A president should be a leader, not groveling at every opportunity. A president makes things, he does break things and speaking of breaking things Mr. President, you might want to invest in a Plexiglas teleprompter.

Autographed Letter Signed,

Afrocity

bama dude

This seems to be missing some crucial parts, can I send it back?