Chatting on the phone with friends is one of my least favorite things and something I reserve for only my best friends. My friend “Helen” lives in Texas she is a very rare yellow rose of the Liberalis variety. It is very fortunate for our friendship that the subject of politics rarely creeps into our conservation – until this weekend. Helen is a political free bird, she voted for Nader in 2000 because she believed what the media told her about Al Gore- that he was too wooden. Hillary Clinton was her choice for Democratic nominee but when she lost to Barack Obama, Helen easily adopted the “hopenchange” mantra. With the Obama presidency well underway and all ready riddled with gaffes and terrible mistakes, I wondered if Helen had a change of heart about Barack Obama. I was wrong.
Somehow the conversation turned to our shitty economy. I asked Helen if she had noticed any change in Texas due to the stimulus. She answered “no” and I continued by bashing the stimulus not really mentioning the name Obama once.
“Afrocity, I like Barack Obama and I think he is doing a good job…I voted for Hillary but you know I really like him.” Helen was very pleasant and gracious in that Southern hospitality way when she said this to me but I still wondered if it was a warning for me to shut my mouth.
Helen was genteel but firm, “I like him a lot”
I teased, “Yes our economy sucks and Michelle Obama is wearing $500 sneakers.”
Helen was silent and said “I LIKE OBAMA..Don’t you?”
“No, I am a Republican now.”
There was a momentary commemorative silence for the death of my liberalism.
“So did you see Wolverine?” Helen asked.
Funny how Barack Obama can alter even the best friendships. My dear friend of 14 years is obviously in the early stages of becoming a moonbat- a feisty but hospital Obamabuttics philius.
The Obamabuttics philius or “Obamabutt” moonbat can be found throughout most of the United States but especially in northern urban areas and the west coast. This prolific moonbat was first discovered in 2004, after Obama gave his speech at the DNC convention. It receives its name from its glazed over appearance and pathological love for Barack Obama. Their tongue exhibits a unique purple-ish cast from the Kool Aid they so love to consume. Obamabutts possess an unusually astute awareness of all things anti-Obama. That is the trademark for this particular moonbat- total devotion to Barack Obama and intense hatred for anyone who poses a threat to him.
Obamabuttics philius are an abundant species and easily visible. They will usually wear some sort of clothing or accesory that identifies them as an Obamabutt . To maximize the number of Obamabuttics philius species that visit your yard you’ll want to offer a variety of traps that point to your being not on board with the Obama program such as stained glass windows, a yellow ribbon displayed some place, an American flag, jockey lawn ornaments, a Hillary Clinton sticker, symbols against socialism. However be warned, Obamabuttics philius damage is one of the biggest concerns facing conservative property owners today. For many homeowners, the threat of vandalism from raving Obamabutt problems is ever looming.
It is believed that for every Obama moonbat, 6 more are nearby. If you have a moonbat watching partner, have him sit facing the opposite direction. When that first sign of Obama criticism rears its head, the Obamabutt will show up. Hungry and ready for a fight. Full of vitriol and accusations of racism. Obamabuttics philius can be flakey. They are really not Democrats, neither disposed as natural supporters of the political party, but rather just lovers of Barack Obama.
Here is an example of such an exchange
Innocent voter: I am somewhat disappointed in Obama. I though he would govern more from the center but it appears that he is not really a Democrat or a Republican-
Obamabutt: YOU ARE A RACIST!!!!!
The Obamabutt will then emit a foul death stare that attracts other Obamabutts. They will even leave a fitting room partially dressed to confront you. Surround you they will, until you pretend to surrender the pink—your tongue that is. Obamabuttics philius will see that it is not quite purple enough. They will attempt to fix that for ya.
For Obamabuttics philius there is no allowance for the slightest inkling of Obama criticism to muddy the water he walks on. This is especially true of Obamabuttics philius medialis. The Obamabutts in the mainstream media are among the species most potent and will go to great lengths to protect “The One”. Wielding vast amounts of manipulation and the obvious lack of respect for ethics in journalism, the Obamabuttics philius medialis is a prominent and important architect of society’s transition into Obama mania.
Often a family member will watch a loved one suffer and plummet into advances stages of Obama mania. This is a sad sight indeed. You come home from work one day to find that your usually productive spouse has painted your Lexus and Obama’s face is now all over it. In extreme cases the skin will break out in an Obama tattoo. Imagine making love to your girl friend, you are in for a nice session of “doggie style” and the ass in your face has the Obama hopenchange symbol plastered on each butt cheek. That would kill any erection for sure. What can you do?
This may sound like a twist of irony but there is little hope for those bitten by the hopenchange bug to change. Turning them back is possible. There are rumors that it has been done somewhere in Seattle, in a dark room with lots of shock therapy and no access to television or Twitter. When starting up a recovery program for Obamabuttics philius , I am told that one must be patient. It may take as long as several years before they discover that Barack Obama is a flip flopping fraud. In the meantime take cautionary measures that you do not become infected by this disease. Delete all Obamagram emails that any Obamabuttics philius sends you. Do not watch Jay-z videos, MSNBC, CNN, or Good Morning America. And for God’s sake do not attend an Obama town hall meeting. I don’t care if you have been unemployed for two years. Stay away from opportunities that introduce Kool Aid into your life. No Scarlett Johansson films, no coffee houses, Bruce Springsteen concerts, or snow boarding events. Just stay away.
Autographed Letter Signed ,