Only by the most elaborate maneuvers of denial could I pretend that I am not getting older. Whether it is the cellulite that is taking up residence in my thighs or the pain in my left hand from ever so worsening arthritis, Afrocity is no spring chicken.
Last Saturday, I went for sushi with a friend. Proud of the eel and uni delectables I consumed over white rice, I eagerly opened my fortune cookie and read something ghastly:
YOU ARE NOT OLD BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER YOUNG EITHER.
Great. Thanks for the losing lotto numbers too.
Forty-one year’s old I will be in just under a month. I feel as though I have lived at least another twenty. In my avoidance of aging, I have purchased a used bicycle, bought lots and lots of creams for my face, ass, and thighs and invested in mega Omega-3 fatty acid supplements. Middle age is knocking tap, tap, tap. I look out of my peep hole…Oh nobody’s home go away. What mother’s death in 2007 taught me was that I needed her alive to feel young. Now that she is gone, I am left behind with her memories and orange-peel prone hips. “Fat Girl Slim” is the $47 cream, I purchased from Sephora to help with cellulite. Every night I rub the caffeine laced concoction into my skin after a vigorous dry brushing. Night time prep has gone from 5 minutes as an 18 year old, to now nearly 45 minutes. The days of splashing cold water on my face and washing with Phisoderm are over. My ritual is quite eventful. First wash with Perricone MD, Nutritive Cleanser, then tone, then my eye serum to combat dark circles, then my pre-moisturizing night time treatment, followed my retinol A moisturizing treatment, and of course my vitamin C/Ester eye cream. Pretty pathetic huh? To end the night perfectly, I drink mint tea and soy milk. This should be the last thing that goes into my stomach at night but I am a cheater and keep a bag of Kettle chips underneath the bed. In light of the prison which is my beauty regimen, I am actually pretty low key in other areas of my life well most areas unless you count politics.
Whereas most normal women can walk into a store and see tote bags as only tote bags, I look at the ones with 100% GREEN and SEXY plastered all over and want to barf. I see government intrusion and crazy far left moon bat political agendas. Can’t a girl, I mean middle aged woman just find a simple tote bag and carrying it to the market without advertising an agenda or Japanese anime sex symbols? I get it, we all must embrace internationalism and green technology. I see it everywhere when I shop for my make-up and “war on Afrocity aging products” . Green make-up had quite a different meaning when I was a teenager. Then it was that awful tacky mood lipstick. Green in the tube but changed to an irritating pink on your lips and the lips of your friends. Every friend!!! They lied, no matter what mood you where in, that mood lipstick was the same shade of pink on everyone’s lips. Now “green cosmetics” make resounding claims to keep you looking young and beautiful while being healthy for the environment but not your pocket book. Look, I am not an incorrigible conservative that hates anything pro-environment. I actually care about trees and rain forests. I have seen the IMax movies at the museum. However, “in-your face” propaganda and legislation just does not sit well with me. Rushing from store to store, “going green” is like a painful stalking form of lifestyle. You either succumb or just die.
Walking to the fridge for a bottle of water one night, my cat was whining for a wet food refill. I grabbed the $1.70 a can premium grain free can of food made with spring water (filtered). As I dumped its contents into his bowl, I looked around at my laundry supplies which reside in the utility room where the cats whine and dine. Tide liquid detergent, 100% GREEN formula. Biodegradable fabric sheets by Arm and Hammer. Hmmmmm. Arm and Hammer…back in the day, I used baking soda just for brushing my teeth and deodorant when mom and I were low on cash.
Now the famous muscular arm and rusty hammer are on my kitty litter, sanitary napkins and dryer sheets. Continuing to the fridge, there was the box of baking soda sitting on the top shelf next to my green tea ginger ale . I grabbed a bottle of spring water. Something looked different; the bottle seemed thinner almost flimsy.
Still, I was somewhat groggy and could not really identify what it was. That is until I tried to twist off the cap. My right hand has trouble with small caps on aspirin bottles due to my arthritis. Now I could add bottled water to the list.
Pro Mach Receives 2010 Green Award for Sustainable Packaging Machinery Solutions
June 16, 2010
Pro Mach was awarded the first ever 2010 Manny Green Award from Cincy Magazine this month for manufacturing initiatives and product innovations that helped customers improve package sustainability.
Three examples were highlighted during the award process. In the first example, Pro Mach’s Fowler division, which manufactures capping equipment, collaborated with several major bottled water companies and multiple material vendors in a solution to package water using lightweight, thinner, smaller containers and caps. Fowler set up test packaging lines and engineered the capping machinery solution that allowed them to greatly reduce packaging material and maintain line speeds. One of these companies estimates they are using 1/3 less plastic, a reduction of more than 95 million pounds at a cost savings of more than $60 million. Comparable savings are also being achieved by the other producers.
In the second example, Pro Mach’s Roberts PolyPro division was noted for producing 100% recyclable single and multi-pack handles for the beverage industry that average 5 to 35 percent less resin than alternative processes. In the third example, Pro Mach’s Orion division developed a customized solution to help a fresh produce customer significantly reduce food product loss and damage during transit.
“We’re honored to receive this recognition from Cincy Magazine,” said Jack Aguero, Pro Mach Vice-President of Marketing and Business Development. “All of these sustainable initiatives have taken a team effort from customers, material suppliers, and our staff. Without the commitment of everyone involved we wouldn’t have been successful.”
Finally I took off the water bottle cap and looked at it. It was hardly a cap at all. The bottle label read “Our Caps are smaller that means less plastic for a greener you”…. But now my arthritic right hand was hurting and the city of Chicago taxed me a dollar for the case of water because bottle water is supposedly not green at all. Can I get a refund?
I closed the door to my stainless steel , energy efficient refrigerator and walked across my bamboo engineered floor to my bed covered in organic cotton sheets. My green life was not planned. I did not orchestrate the environmentally friendly cat litter or the strange shaped light bulb in the lamp next to my bed. It all sort of just happened over night without my permission. Just like the cellulite on my thighs and no matter how many creams I use, it is here to stay whether I like it or not.
Autographed Letter Signed,