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Monday Moonbat of the Week: Meglogorama simplex 2000 (Goracle) May 11, 2009

Filed under: Al Gore,Moonbats — afrocity @ 9:35 PM
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A photo displaying the camouflaging abilities of Meglogorama simplex 2000

All too often a new species of moonbat will occur totally by accident. Some species appear very early on when a new kingdom is being discovered only to disappear into to mutate into a super species. This week  we will take a look at once such moonbat super species- Meglogorama simplex 2000, or the “Goracle”.

Goracle had humble beginnings as an average well meaning liberal. He was vice president of the United States, a handsome, nice family guy. In favor of full disclosure, I will admit, that I voted for him before his lost his damn marbles. He was the epitome of liberal truth and balance then just like that- the ginger cookie snapped.  Something would change him forever from a regular even handed moderate liberal into a stark raving moonbat. How could this man, this advocate of environmental purity suddenly transform into a moonbat state of mind?

Official Card of Meglogorama simplex 2000

Official Card of Meglogorama simplex 2000

There are few if any thoroughly researched case studies of Meglogorama simplex 2000. America had just completed six years of balanced government. We had a Republican congress and two Democrats in the executive branch. Bill Clinton had reached his term limit among other things. Albert Gore Jr. decided to run for president and is victory seemed certain. Unfortunately for him fate had other plans.

The presidential election of 2000 would go down in history as one of the most hotly contested. There was no clear winner. Was it Gore or George W. Bush? The decision was left up the Supreme Court and Bush was declared the victor.

Gore came down with a case of Floraridum Screwiis Syndrome. Never quite recovering, he went into hiding. He shaved very little and consumed large amounts of Yahoo mixed with Don Quai and green tea extract.

Some varieties of Meglogorama simplex 2000 have the extraordinary ability to levitate or fly

Some varieties of Meglogorama simplex 2000 have the extraordinary ability to levitate or fly

While in solitude, Gore was a voracious reader. He experimented in his laboratory with pyrotechnics and light only leaving for nourishment and occasional sex. He was becoming stronger. He had invented the internet but this was something bigger. This new found strength allowed him to advance beyond the wooden form of Al Gore.

He emerged from his cave as Meglogorama simplex 2000 . THE GORACLE.

He would be merciless and feared among millions of lobbyist. With Nobel Prize and Oscar in hand, he became the ultimate moonbat crusader. The second wave of the environmentalist moonbats movement begins with the Goracle. Rising concern for our environment brings method to his madness and sheds light on the inconvenient truth about moonbats.

The idea that moonbats feed on mainstream media constructed fears is not in itself new. At first During the dawn of global warming hype many erroneously believed that the Goracle was rekindling forgotten dreams of clean air and energy conservation. However, what really happened was that the Goracle and the media enabled  anxiety about global warming turned into mass liberal hysteria. Even worse there is now evidence that Goracle is using green consciousness to feed his bank account.

As I have mentioned, I  have voted for the Goracle. Granted at the time, I was a Democrat and many of my positions on energy conservation were inspired by him. Keen to jump onto the global warming bandwagon, I (yes Afrocity) began recycling like a mad woman and threw away all of my fluorescent light bulbs in favor of the Goracle approved ones from IKEA. Tossed out were my crimping and curling irons. I paid $214 for a new ceramic environmentally safe curler from Sephora. My iron cost $160.  I shopped exclusive at Whole Foods in Columbus Circle and paid up to $60 to purchase 6 items. That organic cherry lemonade was really worth it.

Liberalis Organa weekly shopping circular

I explained to anyone who would listen that I needed to do this to help save the environment. I received full support from the liberal circles I traveled in, especially my friend “Summer” who was a Liberalis environmentalus organasia. Afrocity was working for the public good and the detriment of her bank account.

While looking for cheaper ways to be green, I came across several thought provoking articles at the American Thinker. My eyes began to open . I was awakened from my global warming, dawn of the organically fed zombie state.

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I began to see straight into the dark swamp pool of Al Gore’s moonbat nature. Gone is those feelings of admiration I once felt for him.  I wanted his Earth Mother-Deity wordly joy Moonbat ass out of my life. I rebelled by eating conventional produce again.

What is especially telling about the Meglogorama simplex 2000 super species is that it never discusses opposing theories such as global cooling. It is the gloom of the green angst that nurtures its soul.  Can we ever achieve a balance between man and nature without being a moonbat?

In an effort to highlight the Goracle’s tinfoil-ish traits, the guys at South Park created an episode dedicated to global warming which was personified by “Man Bear Pig.”

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

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Say Hello to My Liberal Friend: Moonbat Monday the First in a Series April 27, 2009

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Moonbat Specimen: Liberalis Stupidus

Early Moonbat Specimen: Liberalis Stupidus


Ever experienced being a traveler in a strange land?
Can’t understand the language the natives speak?
You feel awkward while adjusting to the ins and outs of a new culture.

That was the way I felt as a democrat. For some reason I was in the foreign country but I didn’t understand why.I was there simply because my mother had brought me. This especially became apparent during 9/11. I lived in New York City at the time and was effected personally by the events of the tragedy.

When Bush sent troops into Afghanistan I had friends that were so angry they took to the streets in protest. The following conservation made it oh so obvious that I was a foreigner in a liberal land.

LIBERAL FRIEND:Muthafuckers sent troops into Afghanistan. Fucking Assholes. Bush is suck a fucking ASSHOLE
AFROCITY:”But they attacked us!!! We have to defend ourselves and let them know that they can’t do this again. They killed over 3,000 people. LIBERAL FRIEND:What’s the matter with you? We can’t just go attacking countries just because they attack us.
AFROCITY: Why not? Who knows what else Bin Laden has planned for us.
LIBERAL FRIEND: (Looks at me like I am carrying a gun in a school yard, may ask to see my liberal passport at any moment)
AFROCITY: (I want to end this conversation. I am angry someone I know has died. I need to finish cleaning the dust and debris from my apartment)
LIBERAL FRIEND:Karma deserves to bite America in the ass.
AFROCITY: I find it interesting that you are a self professed atheist yet you believe in Karma.
LIBERAL FRIEND: Karama is not a deity.
AFROCITY: Touche, very well then. (goes back to watching CNN)

My liberal friend protested the strikes against Afghanistan. I stayed home and watched the country change. Every brownstone in Park Slope, Brooklyn had a US flag hanging from somewhere. Protesting as an act is something that never appealed to me- a liberals right of passage I preferred to skip.

Moonbat Specimen: Liberalis Goracle Delusionalis

Highly Evolved Moonbat Specimen: Liberalis Goracle Delusionalis

“Days of Rage” pictures from the 1960′s looked crazy to me. Flower children, Charles Manson, Woodstock, riots… My brother was into the Black Power thing, had a huge afro that came with a hair pic permanently attached. He was about 17 years old and a bastion of black and pissed off critical thought as he sat around a card table with his gang buddies smoking pot. Angry over their plight as black men, they would play cards, smoke weed, drink, smoke weed, drink, play cards. I was continually regalled with tales of “the man”, and how that spearheaded the black revolution. Fuck the man. Fuck the white man’s war. He played a lot of The Doors and Pink Floyd. As a three year old I was amused by the whole thing, it was fun. There was always a certain point of the evening where I didn’t have to hide anymore and my brother would prop me on his knee so I could play too–and drink beer. (Which is why I may loathe the taste of it today).

That depiction was one of the good days. By the time I was six there was a clear message from my family that black people were basically screwed and I should be angry about it from birth. My brother carved his entire social identity on that notion. He became a liberal moonbat and began to involve himself in my social life. Holly Hobbie was one of my favorites. My bedroom was devoted to the character. I had the dolls, the house, the clothes including the bonnet. Brother did not approve of my obsession with Holly. She was a part of the establishment. Holly Hobbie was white and very ummmm, boho… Vermont folksy,blond hair and blue eyes, makes gooseberry jam and moonshine.

Holly Hobby. Racism ripped us apart.

Holly Hobbie. She is not a moonbat but racism eventually ripped us apart.

She lived alone with a cat and fed the mouse some cheese every day. You know, a free spirit who would grow up to be an environmentalist or a midwife. She was without a doubt a liberal, but Holly was definitely not a card carrying “down with the cause” black power kind of gal. Wild berries and honey with scones had very little to do with powdered milk and Spam sandwiches. His complaining to my mom about how little Afrocity was falling into a white man’s trap fell on death ears. She told him to go to school, get a job, or get out of the house. One day while insulted by my mom’s racial ignorance he was being especially nasty and unbearable. I was sitting in front of the TV watching Dream Of Jeanie, eating a bowl of Neapolitan ice cream in my Holly Hobbie dress. Dr. Bellows came on the screen. I had a crush on him (don’t ask).

“Mom, I am gonna marry Dr. Bellows someday” I declared.
“I know.” Mom answered from way back in the kitchen.

Faster than I could fold my arms and blink, my brother grabbed me up from the floor. My expression smiling and laughter at first but he got rough. “Ouch, stop that. MOMMY”
I could not believe it. He tore off my Holly Hobbie dress and I stood there in middle of the living room floor butt naked. I grabbed for the dress kicking and screaming while being dragged across the orange psychedelic linoleum. Mom came out from the kitchen and there was a battle that left scars. I had been shamed and bitten. The dress was beyond repair and that was my first encounter with a moonbat.

From the Urban Dictionary:

1.Moonbat

An unthinking or insane leftist — in other words, most modern leftists.

Moonbat can also be used as an adjective, e.g. a moonbat professor. According to the Wikipedia entry for moonbat, the word was coined in 2002 by the Editor of Samizdata, Perry de Havilland, and was a variation on the name of radical British activist and columnist George Monbiot.

Originally, the term “moonbat” was intended to be more politically neutral, and described wackos on the left and the right, but it quickly acquired its current usage of being applied almost exclusively to those on the left.

The term also references the moon much in the same way that “lunatic” refers to the insanity-causing powers of the full moon (luna = moon). Bloggers occasionally analyze the behavior patterns of various moonbat “species” as if they were actual animals, and even give them satirical Linnaean taxonomical names, such as “moonbattus berkeleyensis”.

Okay I get it. You mean like this?

Another type of moonbat in its natural habitat. <i>moonbattus berkeleyensis</i>

Another type of moonbat in its natural habitat. moonbattus berkeleyensis

2. moonbat

Any number of irrational and hysterical individuals whose self-indulgent intellectual indolence has led them to a visceral hatred of all things western. Moonbats tend to frequent anti-globalization and numerous other forms of rallies, demonstrations, sit-ins, and the like, tend to look dirty, and can frequently be heard using terms such as, “imperialism”. The mark of a true moonbat is the total lack of perspective (i.e. “if a dictator provides free healthcare, I like that dictator” – actual moonbat quote).

Hmmmm. I got it!!!

A common moonbat specimen <i> Liberalis Vulgaris</i>

A common moonbat specimen Liberalis Vulgaris


Absolutely frightening. No wonder I never liked demonstrations. I have always fought their attempts to convince me that my country sucks. At first glance, they seem to be concerned with what’s going on around them. Purposeful and social in nature. Outdoorsy types reveling in the smell of trees and grass (cough, cough). They seemed normal but as I interacted with them, something unnerved me. It gnawed at my brain like a rat and was intensely liberal in nature. Then it came to me. They are always angry. Bitching seems to suit them well as they never want to see both sides. Diversions are created in order to avoid coming up with pragmatic solutions.

I began to avoid, treated them well in every respect. The sight of John Kerry sickened me. I lied and said I voted for him just to appease my liberal friends. Conflicted, I did not vote at all that year. The assault and moonbattery grew during the Democratic primaries of 2008. Forget having any sort of realistic dialogue. They had a skewed portrait of democracy and free speech. Speech was free as long as it was what they liked to hear. Do these ghastly moonbats honestly represent the entire left wing?

Stay Tuned and we will find out.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

 

 
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