Is it possible that I could have a sort of jackass Democratic version of Stockholm Syndrome?
Like an old childhood friend that I have outgrown, there liberalism is at times, calling me when I do not want to be bothered. The summer guest that just pops in your life with a duffel bag full of old memories and outdated viewpoints. He comes in uninvited, puts his feet up on your coffee table – right on top of the new Laura Bush book your were reading. The leftie poltergeist takes control of the remote and turns the channel away from Fox News.
“Got any arugula? ” he asks. “Better be organic.”
You see my former liberal mindset captor never really goes away- not completely.
There is a scene in the first Twilight movie, where the main human girl–Bella is playing baseball with her new vampire pals. Everything is proceeding idyllically. You got your thunderstorm, your Matrix like double plays. But wait!!!! You didn’t think that life would be that easy did you? The mood swings, another group of vampires interrupt the game. Human gir Bellal must pretend to be a vampire but the intruder blood suckers sense that something is amiss. They can smell it all over her. SHE IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
Uh-oh. Was I too naive to hope that liberalism would go away quietly into the night. Abusive boyfriends never give up. They become stalkers and you have to get a restraining order. You can’t get within 200 feet of Lilith Fair. It knows your habits forwards and backwards. The liberal junkie itch plagues you at the most inopportune moments like when you are at a Memorial Day service in let’s say Kansas…
You are driving away from a great ultra patriotic day when you look up and see a pro-life billboard with an unsettling picture of an aborted fetus in a garbage can. Conservative friend mentions that they helped pay for the ad. You smile at them. Hey free speech for all…right? Besides there is nothing wrong with both groups getting their point of view across. Then conservative friend says:
“Women just like killing babies and until we stop them America will never be right with God.”
Until the above statement was uttered, you feel a sense of belonging with the conservative. Just moments after, the invisible left-wing reservists appear and take over your personality and mouth.
“Women should have a choice, ” says Afrocity multiple liberal personality #12. “Abortion is a very private and personal matter. Republicans want limited government concerning taxation, business ….So why would you want the government interfering with the decisions we make about our bodies? “
The conservative did not agree with me but nonetheless, the conversation did not end in a salad bar brawl like it would have had I disagreed with an Obamabot. No one left with alfalfa sprouts in their comb over or dreadlocks.
Is there ever a total cure ? Or is liberalism like herpes? One day your life is left wing wart-less then the next thing you know just when you want to get down and busy for an evening of scintillating discourse with your conservative companion…BAM!!! You have a sudden liberal herpes flare up.
The liberal imaginary stalker –texting me while I am having a meal with my new conservative friends. Like the previous situation I mentioned. One the exact same day, conservative buddies and I were discussing Obama’s abysmal foreign policy record. Everything was fine- not a cloud in the political chit chat sky. No text messages from my estranged left wing friend- the ghost of Afrocity’s past.
However when the tide of verbal mutterings turned to the situation in Arizona and need for diversity in our country, an uncomfortable moment of the familiar liberal whiner enters the room.
Not again!!! There is the liberal friend sitting silently by watching me. The friend nudges me, kicks me underneath the table. I wince at the prospect of sounding like a wishy-washy RINO- a John McCain in brown skin clothing.
“Did she just say that gays should not be married?” asks my imaginary estranged friend.
I kicked the pest back in the shin. Go away! Shoo donkey fly. We should secure our borders. If you are not a bleeping U.S. citizen or here legally, you should be deported. The fact is, I was having a wonderful day. Surely the most patriotic in my life. I loved honoring the soldiers who served my country. I loved embracing American values. Somehow I never quite got that pill in my liberal diet. Anytime I sounded “pro-American” around Democrats, I got shitty looks and criticism. Now I can wear flag pins and support drilling in the U.S. without incurring a bloody nose.
Go away jackass. I am in a good relationship now with people who respect my views and don’t reek of patchouli.
You are not here. You are in Dubrovnik- the tomb of the unknown liberal.
“Afrocity, may I ask you an honest question without your being offended?”
My conservative friend was addressing me and only me. Gee I wonder what they are worried about offending me for. I am a conservative too, right?
” Why do blacks want to be called African American and not just American like the rest of us?”
The room became silent as every conservative and my liberal imaginary stalker awaited my answer.
And the rest, I will leave for another post.
What will Afrocity do? Is this the end of her as a conservative? Or will she rise to the occasion and beat down the left wing “Hulk” menace that lies within? Is there a cure to save her just in time??? TO BE CONTINUED.
Autographed Letter Signed,