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A Day without Media Bias. Will it Ever Exist? Truthfully Not May 18, 2009

Mock WSJ drawing of conservative Ann Coulter by the Huffington Post, an employer of Obamabuttics philius medialis

Mock Wall Street Journal style drawing of Conservative writer Ann Coulter published in 2008 by the Huffington Post, a major employer of Obamabuttics philius medialis moonbats.

Will the media bias ever end?

Back in the 70’s when my grandmother was alive, she would faithfully watch the 5 o’clock news, then world news, then the 6 o’clock news. “Why do adults watch so much news?” I would ask her. “It is just the same stuff over and over again.” Most of the time she ignored me as I rolled back on forth on the carpet whining and sighing in an effort to get her to change the channel to a Three Stoodges rerun. It would have been relatively easy for her to just give in to her charming granddaughter but there was no getting that woman to turn down her standing date with Walter Cronkite.

Grandmother also insisted that anything was true…if it was on the news.
“Oh, it must be true I saw it on the news last night.”
And so it was, the gospel according to Channel 7 Eyewitness News.

I spent many evenings pouting in grandma’s damp and musty closet. News is for adults and I would never be that kind of adult when I grew up.
Who wants to watch stupid news all day long?

This would change of course but perhaps earlier than one would expect. By the time I was 10, I understood that someday I would be an adult and I needed to get a job. But what would I do? I had no role models except my grandmother the maid. My brother was in the army- ick. I need to do something where I carry a briefcase. White men carry briefcases…it means that they are important. One Saturday morning I was left alone to my own devices. Yay mommy is gone, I have a fridge full of Kool Aid and Ore Ida frozen krinkle fries…I was rockin’. I turned the television to Channel 11 WTTW Chicago PBS. Mr. Rogers was on, Zoom. Remember Zoom??? We’re gonna zoom, zoom, zooma zoom. By 2pm the kid stuff was winding down and the serious adult stuff started to air. Quick Afrocity turn the channel but I was stopped in my tracks by the intro to this program:

It was Wall $treet Week with Louis Rukeyser. I stood in front of the television paralyzed, unable to switch the channel. It was the height of professionalism, white people walking around with briefcases. To turn away would mean I was rejecting any future chance of success as a businesswoman. Turning away would also mean I was stupid and unable to understand. I sat down and listened to Mr. Rukeyser, not that I understood a damn thing he was talking about. Questions about stocks and the market came up in strange conservations about trick or treating. Mr. Rukeyser had an ongoing affair for several years. He was my media Svengali, but at the same time I was scared to death of him. How could I ever be this great without being white, and named after a king? Mother once thought I was ill because there Mr. Rukeyser was going on about the stock market and here is her 11 year old daughter starring at the screen. My refusal of her request to change the channel made her place a hand on my forehead.

By teenage years, I had dumped Mr. Rukeyser for Dick Clark but the homespun emphasis on the media as truth and power is still remembered by a now grown up Afrocity. During 9/11, I became increasingly dependent on cable news channels, a habit which remains nearly eight years later. Except now I only watch Fox News. This is a switch I made during the 2008 election. As much as I like Anderson Cooper (he is cute), I cannot stand watching Obamabuttics philius medialis moonbats salivate over Barack Obama and malign conservatives like Sarah Palin.

I am not saying that Fox news is perfect but I do find them to be a helluva lot more “fair and balanced” then oh say MSNBC. For me the process of formalizing and establishing a relationship with a news channel is one I that I take rather seriously. After all these journalists, these individuals will be guests in your living every evening. Whatever your political leanings you have to agree with them somewhat, otherwise is like a love affair complete with rough patches and strained conversation over Thai food. In my case the people in my living Keith Olbermann, Chris Mathews, Rachel Maddow, Campbell Brown- all irritated the shit out of me. On top of that, their antics and Obama love was just nauseating.

See what I mean? I think the real WTF? moment is watching this grown man use W-T-F as any sort of plausible news segment. And that music he plays! In my eyes, the rusty organ pipe music kills any shred of journalistic integrity that Countdown may have ever possessed. It  reminds me of old Frankenstein and werewolf  movies from WGN Creature Features. It scares me now just as much as it did then.  Talk about ” Phantom of the Media”. Geeze.

Retro 1970's Creature Features TV ad from WGN- Channel 9 Chicago

Retro 1970's Creature Features TV ad from WGN- Channel 9 Chicago

By mid-august 2008, I could not stand it anymore. I need my news and this was not working. Then something came to me, I vaguely recalled my liberal friends accusing Fox News of being very conservative. Fox news eek. How could I? But I did, I swallowed my pride and switched the channel. Needless to say my stress level decreased considerably. If my transition to conservatism goes hand in hand with my watching Fox News then so be it. I will take Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly over Olbermann and Maddow any day. The last thing I want to watch after a long day is indentured Obamabutt servants from Kool Aid Mountain. Their use of misogyny (Olbermann) and condescending descriptions of the female 2008 election candidates could have well served as a model for “how not to report an election”.

No matter where you decide to get your news be it CNN, a blog, the Wall Street Journal, the Huffington Post (barf), you must be interested in the facts. Find out what the truth means to you by familiarizing yourself with various media biases. Ask yourself : why are they reporting this? What is their spin? Is it fair reporting? What is not being said?

I am not a complete Fox head. I know that Fox News news steers towards the right. However, when Bill O’Reilly runs stories that are suggestive of media corruption, such as the story about the New York Times squashing a report about Barack Obama and his ties to the well known voter fraud factory ACORN before the election day last fall, I notice that the story is NOT being covered by other networks. I ask myself why are other networks hesitant to cover any story that casts Obama in an unflattering light?

Do the Obamabutts ever seem to understand that it is a highly contingent ethical decision to not run a story because it would hurt a political candidate? In fact why would you not run the story? This is about voter fraud and the man that was about to be crowned as President of the United States. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth about him. Or am I the only one? Wanting to know the truth is not being a racist or a right wing nut. I expected to know the truth when Bill Clinton was president and I voted for him. We should all insist that our journalists tell us the truth. If we limit ourselves to this charade of unconvincing fluff- post modernist Obama culture news that is more suitable for lining a Maine Coon’s litter box than it is for reading, how do we refocus our quest for the truth? The consequenses are  embedded in the videos above which lead me to believe only and scarily so, myself and myself alone.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

Cartoon depicting Chris Matthews aka Obamabuttics philius medialis grand poobus.

Cartoon depicting Chris Matthews aka Obamabuttics philius medialis grand poobus.

Archived Copy of the leading journal for Obamabuttics philius medialis

Archived Copy of the leading journal for Obamabuttics philius medialis

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Moonbat Monday: Obamabuttics philius (Obamabutts)

President Moonbat

Chatting on the phone with friends is one of my least favorite things and something I reserve for only my best friends. My friend “Helen” lives in Texas she is a very rare yellow rose of the Liberalis variety. It is very fortunate for our friendship that the subject of politics rarely creeps into our conservation – until this weekend. Helen is a political free bird, she voted for Nader in 2000 because she believed what the media told her about Al Gore- that he was too wooden.  Hillary Clinton was her choice for Democratic nominee but when she lost to Barack Obama, Helen easily adopted the “hopenchange” mantra.  With the Obama presidency well underway and all ready riddled with gaffes and terrible mistakes, I wondered if Helen had a change of heart about Barack Obama. I was wrong.

Cartoon displaying the Brazile Nut variety of Obamabuttics philius

Cartoon displaying the Brazile Nut variety of Obamabuttics philius

Somehow the conversation turned to our shitty economy. I asked Helen if she had noticed any change in Texas due to the stimulus. She answered “no” and I continued by bashing the stimulus not really mentioning the name Obama once.

Afrocity, I like Barack Obama and I think he is doing a good job…I voted for Hillary but you know I really like him.”  Helen was very pleasant and gracious in that Southern hospitality way when she said this to me but I still wondered if it was a warning for me to shut my mouth.

Helen was genteel but firm, “I like him a lot”

I teased, “Yes our economy sucks and Michelle Obama is wearing $500 sneakers.”

Helen was silent and said “I LIKE OBAMA..Don’t you?”

“No, I am a Republican now.”

“Oh.”

There was a momentary commemorative silence for the death of my liberalism.

“So did you see Wolverine?” Helen asked.

This is a crop circle left in

Rare Obamabuttics philius crop circle found in LaJolla, CA

Funny how Barack Obama can alter even the best friendships. My dear friend of 14 years is obviously in the early stages of becoming a moonbat- a feisty but hospital Obamabuttics philius.

The Obamabuttics philius or  “Obamabutt” moonbat can be found throughout most of the United States but especially in northern urban areas and the west coast. This prolific moonbat was first discovered in 2004, after Obama gave his speech at the DNC convention.  It receives its name from its glazed over appearance and pathological love for Barack Obama. Their tongue exhibits a unique purple-ish cast from the Kool Aid they so love to consume. Obamabutts possess an unusually astute awareness of all things anti-Obama. That is the trademark for this particular moonbat- total devotion to Barack Obama and intense hatred for anyone who poses a threat to him.

Obamabuttics philius are an abundant species and easily visible. They will usually wear some sort of clothing or accesory that identifies them as an Obamabutt . To maximize the number of Obamabuttics philius species that visit your yard you’ll want to offer a variety of traps that point to your being not on board with the Obama program such as stained glass windows, a yellow ribbon displayed some place, an American flag, jockey lawn ornaments, a Hillary Clinton sticker, symbols against socialism.  However be warned, Obamabuttics philius damage is one of the biggest concerns facing conservative property owners today. For many homeowners, the threat of vandalism from raving Obamabutt problems is ever looming.

Obamabuttics philius markings. There is a real infestion going on here.

Obamabuttics philius markings. Obviously, this is a clear indication of an Obamabutt infestation.

Photo of "tweety" a nortorius Obamabuttics philius medialis. Notice the tingling of its legs.

Photo of "tweety" a nortorius Obamabuttics philius medialis. Notice the tingling of its legs.

It is believed that for every Obama moonbat, 6 more are nearby. If you have a moonbat watching partner, have him sit facing the opposite direction. When that first sign of Obama criticism rears its head, the Obamabutt will show up. Hungry and ready for a fight. Full of vitriol and accusations of racism.  Obamabuttics philius can be flakey. They are really not Democrats, neither disposed as natural supporters of the political party, but rather just lovers of Barack Obama.

Here is an example of such an exchange

Innocent voter:  I am somewhat disappointed in Obama. I though he would govern more from the center but it appears that he is not really a Democrat or a Republican-

Obamabutt: YOU ARE A RACIST!!!!!

The Obamabutt will then emit a foul death stare that attracts other Obamabutts.  They will even leave a fitting room partially dressed to confront you.  Surround you they will, until you pretend to surrender the pink—your tongue that is. Obamabuttics philius will see that it is not quite purple enough. They will attempt to fix that for ya.

For Obamabuttics philius there is no allowance for the slightest inkling of Obama criticism to muddy the water he walks on. This is especially true of Obamabuttics philius medialis. The Obamabutts in the mainstream media are among the species most potent and will go to great lengths to protect “The One”.  Wielding vast amounts of manipulation and the obvious lack of respect for ethics in journalism, the Obamabuttics philius medialis is a prominent and important architect of society’s transition into Obama mania.

The Mutated "Muttonis Obamabuttics philius" or Sheeple

The Mutated "Muttonis Obamabuttics philius" or Sheeple

Often a family member will watch a loved one suffer and plummet into advances stages of Obama mania. This is a sad sight indeed. You come home from work one day to find that your usually productive spouse has painted your Lexus and Obama’s face is now all over it.  In extreme cases the skin will break out in an Obama tattoo. Imagine making love to your girl friend, you are in for a nice session of “doggie style” and the ass in your face has the Obama hopenchange symbol plastered on each butt cheek. That would kill any erection for sure. What can you do?

This may sound like a twist of irony but there is little hope for those bitten by the hopenchange bug to change. Turning them back is possible. There are rumors that it has been done somewhere in Seattle, in a dark room with lots of shock therapy and no access to television or Twitter. When starting up a recovery program for Obamabuttics philius , I am told that one must be patient. It may take as long as several years before they discover that Barack Obama is a flip flopping fraud.  In the meantime take cautionary measures that you do not become infected by this disease. Delete all Obamagram emails that any Obamabuttics philius sends you. Do not watch Jay-z videos, MSNBC, CNN, or Good Morning America. And for God’s sake do not attend an Obama town hall meeting. I don’t care if you have been unemployed for two years. Stay away from opportunities that introduce Kool Aid into your life. No Scarlett Johansson  films, no coffee houses, Bruce Springsteen concerts, or snow boarding events. Just stay away.

Autographed Letter Signed ,

Afrocity

Obamabuttics philius medialis propaganda

Obamabuttics philius medialis propaganda

Liberalis African Americanus turned Obamabuttics philius medialis

Liberalis African Americanus turned Obamabuttics philius medialis

Obamabuttics philius exhibits rare qualities of honesty.

This Obamabuttics philius moonbat specimen exhibits rare qualities of honesty.

Obamabuttics philius redneckus being petted by Obama himself

Obamabuttics philius redneckus being petted by Obama himself

A hopless case of Obamabuttics philius vulgaris

A hopless case of Obamabuttics philius vulgaris

Advanced Obamabuttics philius . Notice the mark of the beast.

Advanced Obamabuttics philius . Notice the mark of the beast.

Obamabuttics philius in recovery. It can happen.

Obamabuttics philius in recovery. It can happen.