As you know every Monday of ALS has been devoted to the examination of the philosophical underpinnings of moonbats.
Spring is upon us and it is a great time to take up moonbat watching as a hobby. Everyone knows that widespread ignorance, a critical necessity for moonbats is at its peak during the warmer months. The absence of reason serves to restore liberal order in the world for it reminds loyal far left subjects of the basic premise of moonbattery. In order to substantiate this conclusion, we need a detailed study of every moonbat species. We must make sense of all the continuities amongst species. The taxonomy helps us make sense of it all. And there are so many far left ass clowns for us to keep up with it is imperative that we must write it all down. The breadth and scope is amazing and you will quickly learn that moonbats are a diverse constellation all linked by insanity.
Being a novice at moonbat watching myself, I am on the lookout for expert blogs about moonbattery.
One blog that I have found really helpful in my study of moonbats is Van Helsing’s Moonbattery.
Van Helsing’s uses unique methods and rich imagery to describe moonbats and has perfected a blog that is dedicated to tracking the far left’s daily activities. Moonbattery is a must read for information on the most official moonbat sightings and where accuracy and integrity are emphasized and appreciated.
Geographically and climatically, moonbats can range through a rich variety of temperatures and environments. However, I always caution beginners like myself against taking up the study during the winter months as it can lead to misidentification.
The provenance and distribution of moonbats tends to fit into their natural vegetative regions. Bear these regions in mind because the number of moonbat species gives only a piece of the puzzle. In the western region for example, the peak summer months can bring nearly 20 million moonbats. During this time it is common for an amateur moonbat watcher to identity at least 200 moonbats a day. Since the field is so new, extensive and accurate novice contributions are extremely important.
If you live in an urban area like myself, you can enjoy moonbat watching at your local park. You can attract large numbers of moonbats simply by carrying a McCain/Palin Tote Bag or wearing a “Support Our Troops” tee shirt. Be careful though, you may find yourself ambushed by a formidable band of Americus haterus and flogged to death with monkey shit.
Moonbat whining calls are a very helpful identification aid. This is not for the skittish moonbat watcher and you must have a good ear for liberal whining. Moonbat whines all have a recognizable pitch and tone which allows them to be distinguished among species. With a little practice you will know the difference between an anti-war moonbat’s whine and that of a PETA moonbat.
You may wish to take up whining calls yourself in order to attract moonbats.
Some have found the race-baiting whine call very effective in attracting moonbats who hate Republicans and conservatives. If someone criticizes Barack Obama, you purse your lips together and call them a racists as loudly as you can. This will send the Obamabuttics philius moonbats running to your aid.
On a calm Fourth of July holiday, one could attempt the “I Hate America” whining call.
Whenever you see the American flag, ram your fingers as far down your throat as possible while trying to sing our National Anthem. This whining call is best done early in the morning, on an empty stomach.
The above are just a few tips that have helped me. Soon your passion for moonbat watching will be as great as mine.
Later on today we will reveal this week’s featured moonbat. I am going to hit the trail for now with my trusty binoculars. There is an independent bookstore in the hipster/ poseur section of town that I have been invited to for a reading. It should be interesting.
Autographed Letter Signed,