All too often a new species of moonbat will occur totally by accident. Some species appear very early on when a new kingdom is being discovered only to disappear into to mutate into a super species. This week we will take a look at once such moonbat super species- Meglogorama simplex 2000, or the “Goracle”.
Goracle had humble beginnings as an average well meaning liberal. He was vice president of the United States, a handsome, nice family guy. In favor of full disclosure, I will admit, that I voted for him before his lost his damn marbles. He was the epitome of liberal truth and balance then just like that- the ginger cookie snapped. Something would change him forever from a regular even handed moderate liberal into a stark raving moonbat. How could this man, this advocate of environmental purity suddenly transform into a moonbat state of mind?
There are few if any thoroughly researched case studies of Meglogorama simplex 2000. America had just completed six years of balanced government. We had a Republican congress and two Democrats in the executive branch. Bill Clinton had reached his term limit among other things. Albert Gore Jr. decided to run for president and is victory seemed certain. Unfortunately for him fate had other plans.
The presidential election of 2000 would go down in history as one of the most hotly contested. There was no clear winner. Was it Gore or George W. Bush? The decision was left up the Supreme Court and Bush was declared the victor.
Gore came down with a case of Floraridum Screwiis Syndrome. Never quite recovering, he went into hiding. He shaved very little and consumed large amounts of Yahoo mixed with Don Quai and green tea extract.
While in solitude, Gore was a voracious reader. He experimented in his laboratory with pyrotechnics and light only leaving for nourishment and occasional sex. He was becoming stronger. He had invented the internet but this was something bigger. This new found strength allowed him to advance beyond the wooden form of Al Gore.
He emerged from his cave as Meglogorama simplex 2000 . THE GORACLE.
He would be merciless and feared among millions of lobbyist. With Nobel Prize and Oscar in hand, he became the ultimate moonbat crusader. The second wave of the environmentalist moonbats movement begins with the Goracle. Rising concern for our environment brings method to his madness and sheds light on the inconvenient truth about moonbats.
The idea that moonbats feed on mainstream media constructed fears is not in itself new. At first During the dawn of global warming hype many erroneously believed that the Goracle was rekindling forgotten dreams of clean air and energy conservation. However, what really happened was that the Goracle and the media enabled anxiety about global warming turned into mass liberal hysteria. Even worse there is now evidence that Goracle is using green consciousness to feed his bank account.
As I have mentioned, I have voted for the Goracle. Granted at the time, I was a Democrat and many of my positions on energy conservation were inspired by him. Keen to jump onto the global warming bandwagon, I (yes Afrocity) began recycling like a mad woman and threw away all of my fluorescent light bulbs in favor of the Goracle approved ones from IKEA. Tossed out were my crimping and curling irons. I paid $214 for a new ceramic environmentally safe curler from Sephora. My iron cost $160. I shopped exclusive at Whole Foods in Columbus Circle and paid up to $60 to purchase 6 items. That organic cherry lemonade was really worth it.
I explained to anyone who would listen that I needed to do this to help save the environment. I received full support from the liberal circles I traveled in, especially my friend “Summer” who was a Liberalis environmentalus organasia. Afrocity was working for the public good and the detriment of her bank account.
While looking for cheaper ways to be green, I came across several thought provoking articles at the American Thinker. My eyes began to open . I was awakened from my global warming, dawn of the organically fed zombie state.
I began to see straight into the dark swamp pool of Al Gore’s moonbat nature. Gone is those feelings of admiration I once felt for him. I wanted his Earth Mother-Deity wordly joy Moonbat ass out of my life. I rebelled by eating conventional produce again.
What is especially telling about the Meglogorama simplex 2000 super species is that it never discusses opposing theories such as global cooling. It is the gloom of the green angst that nurtures its soul. Can we ever achieve a balance between man and nature without being a moonbat?
In an effort to highlight the Goracle’s tinfoil-ish traits, the guys at South Park created an episode dedicated to global warming which was personified by “Man Bear Pig.”
Autographed Letter Signed,