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Monday Moonbat of the Week: Meglogorama simplex 2000 (Goracle) May 11, 2009

Filed under: Al Gore,Moonbats — afrocity @ 9:35 PM
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A photo displaying the camouflaging abilities of Meglogorama simplex 2000

All too often a new species of moonbat will occur totally by accident. Some species appear very early on when a new kingdom is being discovered only to disappear into to mutate into a super species. This week  we will take a look at once such moonbat super species- Meglogorama simplex 2000, or the “Goracle”.

Goracle had humble beginnings as an average well meaning liberal. He was vice president of the United States, a handsome, nice family guy. In favor of full disclosure, I will admit, that I voted for him before his lost his damn marbles. He was the epitome of liberal truth and balance then just like that- the ginger cookie snapped.  Something would change him forever from a regular even handed moderate liberal into a stark raving moonbat. How could this man, this advocate of environmental purity suddenly transform into a moonbat state of mind?

Official Card of Meglogorama simplex 2000

Official Card of Meglogorama simplex 2000

There are few if any thoroughly researched case studies of Meglogorama simplex 2000. America had just completed six years of balanced government. We had a Republican congress and two Democrats in the executive branch. Bill Clinton had reached his term limit among other things. Albert Gore Jr. decided to run for president and is victory seemed certain. Unfortunately for him fate had other plans.

The presidential election of 2000 would go down in history as one of the most hotly contested. There was no clear winner. Was it Gore or George W. Bush? The decision was left up the Supreme Court and Bush was declared the victor.

Gore came down with a case of Floraridum Screwiis Syndrome. Never quite recovering, he went into hiding. He shaved very little and consumed large amounts of Yahoo mixed with Don Quai and green tea extract.

Some varieties of Meglogorama simplex 2000 have the extraordinary ability to levitate or fly

Some varieties of Meglogorama simplex 2000 have the extraordinary ability to levitate or fly

While in solitude, Gore was a voracious reader. He experimented in his laboratory with pyrotechnics and light only leaving for nourishment and occasional sex. He was becoming stronger. He had invented the internet but this was something bigger. This new found strength allowed him to advance beyond the wooden form of Al Gore.

He emerged from his cave as Meglogorama simplex 2000 . THE GORACLE.

He would be merciless and feared among millions of lobbyist. With Nobel Prize and Oscar in hand, he became the ultimate moonbat crusader. The second wave of the environmentalist moonbats movement begins with the Goracle. Rising concern for our environment brings method to his madness and sheds light on the inconvenient truth about moonbats.

The idea that moonbats feed on mainstream media constructed fears is not in itself new. At first During the dawn of global warming hype many erroneously believed that the Goracle was rekindling forgotten dreams of clean air and energy conservation. However, what really happened was that the Goracle and the media enabled  anxiety about global warming turned into mass liberal hysteria. Even worse there is now evidence that Goracle is using green consciousness to feed his bank account.

As I have mentioned, I  have voted for the Goracle. Granted at the time, I was a Democrat and many of my positions on energy conservation were inspired by him. Keen to jump onto the global warming bandwagon, I (yes Afrocity) began recycling like a mad woman and threw away all of my fluorescent light bulbs in favor of the Goracle approved ones from IKEA. Tossed out were my crimping and curling irons. I paid $214 for a new ceramic environmentally safe curler from Sephora. My iron cost $160.  I shopped exclusive at Whole Foods in Columbus Circle and paid up to $60 to purchase 6 items. That organic cherry lemonade was really worth it.

Liberalis Organa weekly shopping circular

I explained to anyone who would listen that I needed to do this to help save the environment. I received full support from the liberal circles I traveled in, especially my friend “Summer” who was a Liberalis environmentalus organasia. Afrocity was working for the public good and the detriment of her bank account.

While looking for cheaper ways to be green, I came across several thought provoking articles at the American Thinker. My eyes began to open . I was awakened from my global warming, dawn of the organically fed zombie state.

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I began to see straight into the dark swamp pool of Al Gore’s moonbat nature. Gone is those feelings of admiration I once felt for him.  I wanted his Earth Mother-Deity wordly joy Moonbat ass out of my life. I rebelled by eating conventional produce again.

What is especially telling about the Meglogorama simplex 2000 super species is that it never discusses opposing theories such as global cooling. It is the gloom of the green angst that nurtures its soul.  Can we ever achieve a balance between man and nature without being a moonbat?

In an effort to highlight the Goracle’s tinfoil-ish traits, the guys at South Park created an episode dedicated to global warming which was personified by “Man Bear Pig.”

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

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Moonbat Monday: Helpful Tips for Novice Moonbat Watchers

Filed under: Moonbats — afrocity @ 10:38 AM
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The common American Treehugger moonbat in a full state of bliss

As you know every Monday of ALS has been devoted to the examination of the philosophical underpinnings of moonbats.

Spring is upon us and it is a great time to take up moonbat watching as a hobby. Everyone knows that widespread ignorance, a critical necessity for moonbats is at its peak during the warmer months.  The absence of reason serves to restore liberal order in the world for it reminds loyal far left subjects of the basic premise of moonbattery. In order to substantiate this conclusion, we need a detailed study of every moonbat species. We must make sense of all the continuities amongst species. The taxonomy helps us make sense of it all. And there are so many far left ass clowns for us to keep up with it is imperative that we must write it all down. The breadth and scope is amazing and you will quickly learn that moonbats are a diverse constellation all linked by insanity.

Being a novice at moonbat watching myself, I am on the lookout for expert blogs about moonbattery.

One blog  that I have found really helpful in my study of moonbats is Van Helsing’s   Moonbattery.

Van Helsing’s uses unique methods and rich imagery to describe moonbats and has perfected a blog that is dedicated to tracking the far left’s  daily activities. Moonbattery is a must read for information on the most official moonbat sightings and where accuracy and integrity are emphasized and appreciated.

Superb example of Obamabuttcus Philias which has gone through molting.

Superb example of Obamabuttics Philius just after molting season

Geographically and climatically, moonbats can range through a rich variety of temperatures and environments. However, I always caution beginners like myself against taking up the study during the winter months as it can lead to misidentification.

The provenance and distribution of moonbats tends to fit into their natural vegetative regions. Bear these regions in mind because the number of moonbat species gives only a piece of the puzzle. In the western region for example, the peak summer months can bring nearly 20 million moonbats. During this time it is common for an amateur moonbat watcher to identity at least 200 moonbats a day. Since the field is so new, extensive and accurate novice contributions are extremely important.

Food of the moonbat species Vermillion megagarofolo vulgaris

Food of the moonbat species Vermillion megagarofolo vulgaris

If you live in an urban area like myself, you can enjoy moonbat watching at your local park. You can attract large numbers of moonbats simply by carrying a McCain/Palin Tote Bag or wearing a “Support Our Troops” tee shirt. Be careful though, you may find yourself ambushed by a formidable band of Americus haterus and flogged to death with monkey shit.

Moonbat whining calls are a very helpful identification aid. This is not for the skittish moonbat watcher and you must have a good ear for liberal whining. Moonbat whines all have a recognizable pitch and tone which allows them to be distinguished among species. With a little practice you will know the difference between an anti-war moonbat’s whine and that of a PETA moonbat.

You may wish to take up whining calls yourself in order to attract moonbats.

Some have found the race-baiting whine call very effective in attracting moonbats who hate Republicans and conservatives. If someone criticizes Barack Obama, you purse your lips together and call them a racists as loudly as you can. This will send the Obamabuttics philius moonbats running to your aid.

On a calm Fourth of July holiday, one could attempt the “I Hate America” whining call.

Whenever you see the American flag, ram your fingers as far down your throat as possible while trying to sing our National Anthem. This whining call is best done early in the morning, on an empty stomach.

The above are just a few tips that have helped me. Soon your passion for moonbat watching will be as great as mine.

Later on today we will reveal this week’s featured moonbat. I am going to hit the trail for now with my trusty binoculars. There is an independent bookstore in the hipster/ poseur section of town that I have been invited to for a reading. It should be interesting.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

Occulata palingenia haterus moonbat

Occulata palingenia haterus moonbat

 

 
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