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A Mostly Center-Right Place For Those With Irritable Obama Syndrome and Diversity Fatigue

Diversity Fatigue Files: The “Kewl” Factor May 1, 2009

Filed under: Feminism — afrocity @ 11:48 PM
Tags: ,
Painting by John Currin

Painting by John Currin

Today has been quite troubling for me. I ran around the stores in an exhaustive search for Mother’s Day gifts for my aunt’s. Of course I saw everything for myself and nothing for them. I decided to try on a dress, a nice pretty yellow one- perfect for spring. I took off my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. Why do department store fitting rooms have the worst mirrors? The lighting is bad you look sallow and unattractive. I looked at my thighs and saw my mom. Damn her. I only got the bad parts. Pinching a clump of my brown skin and jiggling it, I felt old. Someday I’m going to be older and older and older. Soon I will be dead like my mother. Anger came over me. Anger at her for leaving me. How selfish of you Afrocity. The truth truth is you need her to be alive in order for you to feel young. No more safety net between death and myself. Grandmother in 1987, mother in 2007, then someday me. Yes, my dying is in the realm of possible possibilities.

I was surprised, the dress looked rather nice on me. It was a beautiful gauze fabric, a great price, and it camouflaged my 37 inch hips. Afrocity you need to hit the gym. I could hear other women chatting. Young girls. Two were talking to each other on their cells phones. “So silly” I whispered to myself, a bit envious that cell phones were not around when I was a teenager. Their conversation was about meeting that special guy’s mom for the first time.

Girl One: And so many guys are such fucktards because they don’t know that being vegan means you cannot have dairy.
Girl Two: Ah Huh
Girl One: So Ryan didn’t tell her that I was a vegan and we went there and she like cooked a roast.
Girl Two: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Girl One: I know right. She felt like a fucking idiot.
Girl Two: You didn’t eat it did you?
Girl one: Fuck NOOOOO! Oh My gawd. I sat there and starved. I would eat dirt first. Ha ha she said she was sorry like a thousand times.
Girl Two: You know people who eat meat smell different. Like the guys-

I couldn’t listen anymore. They made me ill at that point. As I reached for my skirt, girl number one, dropped her key chain. It was full of keys and Obama slogans on bottle caps. Ugh. I put my clothes back on, paid for the dress and left for the drug store.

My reaction to the “fitting room girls” bothered me. Why was I being so funky about it? Afrocity failed at being a vegetarian four times. Pasta is my daily diet but I have to have meat at least twice a week or I lose my mind. Sushi is my favorite food. Real sushi, not just California or spicy tuna rolls. Unagi うなぎ, Ikura イクラ, yellow tail. I crave it. I wondered if being a meat eater disqualifies you as a feminist. I really tried to be vegetarian-

Oh shit. Now I realize why I am in a pissy mood. I am not cool anymore. I wear cool clothes but I am not gay or a vegan. I don’t give a rat’s ass about eating organic. I didn’t vote for Obama. What’s my cool quotient?

Conservative: -20
African American: +10
Meat Eater: -30
Owns shelter pets: +10 per animal (30)
Owns a Juicer: +5 (hasn’t been used in 2 years -2
Owns a iPod: +20
Shops at Whole Foods: +7
Loves Sarah Palin: -80

Enough I can’t think about it anymore. Meanwhile watch this video clip of Laura Ingram and feminist Gloria Feldt squaring off on Miss California, 5/1/09 on The O’Reilly Factor.  Once again proving if you are conservative, you are not a feminist.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

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Friday Afternoon Flicks: Go Condi! Go!

Filed under: Uncategorized — afrocity @ 3:14 PM
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I have received quite a few requests to show these two video clips.

The first is released from the Folks at Red State of former SOS Condoleeza Rice speaking with students about foreign policy. No matter what you think of her, Condi knows her stuff.

The second is a funny moment on the Hannity show about Obama’s first 100 days.

 

Brethren, and Lanvin and Swine Flu Oh My

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First a little humor to break of the monotony of swine flu coverage and the exit of Justice Souter which has become a fiesta sized liberal frenzy.

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.

“WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?”

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:” I’ve come for some courage.”

“NO PROBLEM!” says the Wizard. “WHO IS NEXT?”

Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well………, I…….I think I need a brain.”

“DONE” says the Wizard. “WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?”

Up stepped George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.”

“I’VE HEARD IT’S TRUE!” says the Wizard. “CONSIDER IT DONE.”

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn’t say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

“Is Dorothy here?”

Well Bill Dorothy isn’t here but her pie grabbing distant cousin from Illinois, Michelle Obama is. In a shining example of liberal hypocrisy, Michelle has swapped her ruby red slippers for a more upscale grassroots poseur pair of Lanvin sneakers from Barneys.

First Lady Michelle Obama steps out in Lanvin sneakers and they’re only $540!
BY Amy Diluna
DAILY NEWS FASHION EDITOR
Friday, May 1st 2009

Michelle Obama has taken casual to a haute new level.

While volunteering Wednesday at a D.C. food bank, the First Lady sported her usual J.Crew cardigan, a pair of utilitarian capri pants and, on her feet, a sneaky splurge: trainers that go for $540.

That’s right: These sneakers – suede, with grosgrain ribbon laces and metallic pink toe caps – are made by French design house Lanvin, one of fashion’s hottest labels. They come in denim and satin versions, and have been a brisk seller all spring.

They’re out of stock at posh Meatpacking District boutique Jeffrey, and Barneys New York boasts a limited selection of the sneaks, which are a cult favorite among fashionistas.

It’s likely Michelle got hers through Ikram, the Chicago retailer that often outfits her. “They’re shoes,” the First Lady’s reps sniffed when curious reporters inquired about the fancy footwear

"Everyone will have to make sacrifices...Except me"

"Everyone will have to make sacrifices...Except me"

They’re shoes you ungrateful teabagging PEONS, Go back and drink your Kool Aid. Didn’t I just feed you withered arugula salad!!!!!

I hope the First Lady’s silver slippers hold up well on AstroTurf. It is perfectly clear that the Obamacrats could win an Olympic medal in hypocrisy at this point. I like shopping as much as the next person. I have more than my fair share of designer clothing. I am known at Barneys New York by name. However, I never push the untruth of being anything less or more than that. I do not belittle those who possess more than I as evil money grabbing conservatives with 5 five homes while daintily tying my Chanel scarf around my neck on my way to pass out stale donuts at the homeless shelter. In fact I have lived in a homeless shelter so I know the type. You show up to the lunch counter sit in an an outfit that is so expensive, if you sold it on eBay you could actually feed the people whose behalf you are protesting for.

free-pass

Lately, I have reached an irksome level of incomprehensibility when it comes to liberals. I have far too many stories to tell of sparring with liberal friends who claim that all Republicans are rich, stingy, and cruel. In reality, my friends that are conservative are more traditionally middle class than the Democrats I know who veer more towards “New Money” . There are no monsters or buried treasure in the closets of my conservatives pals. Several are small business owners afraid of what Obama will do to the capital gains tax. They rely on those profits for their livelihoods. Yet the liberal monstrous grapevine of gossip will tell you that they are rich because they make more than $200K a year.

obama-hate-9

My friend “Jane” is 68. Her husband died of prostate cancer in 2006. Just shy of his first year after retirement. They owned an accounting business and some campus housing property. The profits are all she has to live on. If the inheritance tax is raised it will kill her. Jane supported John Edwards in the Iowa caucus. After voting for Democrats for years she found herself identifying more with John McCain and Sarah Palin. “I am not rich” she would tell me. “Just because someone owns multiple properties and makes over $100K it does not make them rich.”

Jane voted for McCain/Palin she felt that the Democrats were no longer a party that she recognized. No more sentimental notions drawn from the Clintons or LBJ. They were foreign to her now. After all as a small business owner, multiple property owner, someone who had an inheritance to pass on she was now the enemy. Her children and grandchildren starred at her disapprovingly chanting “hopenchange”. Obama is ‘kewl”. Have they forgotten that their dad was the master of self-invention? That he built the company from scratch? That it was their bread and butter for 3 generations? That he believed in self-reliance?

Despite the financial implications, as life time liberals they still felt the need to defend Obama and vote for him. They bought into the bubble gum colored land of Oz sold to them by Barry and the MSM. The one with kumbaya singing multi-cultural folk wearing organic leggings made of hemp. Testimonies included breathless accounts of rescuing the socially deprived. Munchkins with screaming green hair playing the flute. The sheeple marched, black children skipped down the yellow brick road in collective liberal drunkenness.

Jane’s predicament has now progressed to “should I sell or keep my property in order to survive? In order for my grand kids to have something left of our business. A legacy.”

Oz the day after

Oz the day after

Too bad nobody told her children that once the party is over, rain begins to accumulate. Whether you voted for Obama or not, the hangover is everyone’s to own.

Autographed Letter Signed,

AFROCITY

slippers

Run Bo Bo run!!!!

Run Bo Bo run!!!!